Thursday, March 19, 2015

Further Matters Arising From Previous Guff

Can I assure all concerned over what appear to be railway lines crossing the river, are in fact the metal girders exposed after long since being hidden beneath. Alex Guinness has had no input on design, and no prisoners of war have been subjected to coordinated whistling or forced marches at any point during its construction, but please pay attention to the discretely placed can of


Yes Cuprinol, soft wood's finest friend in a damp environment.

That's Cuprinol

Thanks again in advance for the cheque Cuprinol (Ronseal? wouldn't touch the stuff)

Wikipedia teaches us that the number 47 (forty seven) is the natural number that follows 46 and precedes 48, Derek Acora and Sesame St, (and hey, don't be a stranger Bert & Ernie) have been in touch to tell us that forty seven has more to offer than that.

The 47 Society insist they promote the quintessential number, and have dedicated their lives to exploring the phenomenon that is 47. They have a website with articles, forums and even a gallery of the number 47, the archives are well worth a read.

favour the theory that the number forty seven is a combination of the energies and attributes of the number four and the number seven, the vibrations of number four (and who knew numbers were all of a quiver) include those of practical thinking and endurance while number seven offers intuition and inner knowing. have forty seven down as "the cosmic random element and the agent of infinite change" and there is an abnormally high occurrence of the number forty seven in many episodes of Startrek, which is completely illogical captain.

Pomona College have a forty seven society who suggest that all numbers end up as forty seven. The magic of maths can reduce any number to forty seven and Madam and myself are destined to never see fifty, because fifty is well, after being subjected to some differentiation, integration and algebra ends up as forty seven.....I think.

Apologies to De la Soul (you went wrong in your workings in the margin) but 47 is the magic number

At which point we shall abandon maths for the arts,

Have the Rolling Stones only just reached the Antipodes?

To fill the gap where the adverts would be in the cricket coverage on the wireless, Oz FM roll out "Jumpin Jack Flash" and "Honky Tonk Women" as filler

These tunes are forty seven years old.


Calm down. it's hooey.......isn't it?

Was the same rule applied to the 1992 world cup down under, or did I miss Arthur Askey and his Busy Busy Bee between overs? Come on Cobbers, how about something a little more contemporary, Manhatten Transfer or The Emotions, perhaps?

With regard to cricket, Peter has a plan for the upcoming tour of the West Indies which seems to centre around changing his name to Pete and occasional references to the film "We need to talk about Kevin"

Following its official launch this week, confidentiality agreements are null and void and we can now reveal that the showbiz superstar who paid us a visit to film some fishing and cooking was Mary Berry. There are pictures of her on the river sprinkled throughout the book, which I can thoroughly recommend, and thank you to the clever photographer who took the photo of Mary on the bridge over to the fishing hut and very kindly made it look level. Like the QE2 Dartford Crossing, the bridge to the fishing hut has now been given a name and a plaque trumpeting the Queen Mary crossing is now nailed to the gate. Deservedly so, because she was fabulous , everything you would expect, and the equal of " Slowhand" as the brightest star from the showbiz firmament to pitch up in my time on these banks. The BBC series is due to be aired in May.

While we're on the BBC, Top Gear has been in the news a little of late.

I once bumped into the Top Gear team filming at the Barton Stacey service station. They had three home-made camper vans and were travelling to Cornwall. James May was being filmed in his two tier camper van with chandelier. Jeremy Clarkson was out of shot leaning on a petrol pump, speaking on his mobile phone, fag in hand. He raised a hand to me and smiled, as i topped up my two stroke can. No punches were thrown or food requested, and I like to think that at some point during the dispensing of the third litre we had bonded in a masculine kind of way, at which point I seem to have drifted into "Partridge" speak , a fellow fan of the forecourt, who, if he hadn't also punched a BBC producer, and shot one of his guests,would make an excellent Top Gear presenter. with the Ford Scorpio very much to the fore,

#dreamcasting this kind of words with no gaps and a funny squared thing is still current yeah?

and now, by request, over to you Councillor Cox

Once more, Trust you to trust us

Abridged river report (thank you, spare us the rail) - level slowly dropping, need rain.

Forgive me, but the news that extensive research is being conducted via the medium of sensors and treadmills to ascertain why penguins waddle is nothing short of a step backwards. Have we forgotten that penguins can talk? Let's not be shy on this one, just walk up and open a dialogue as did Jonny Morris sometime in the seventies.

Lemurs, yes Lemurs, are also capable of the odd anecdote, we do wildlife a great injustice with the label "dumb animal"

Just found out that Police 5's Shaw Taylor's died. Ninety years old mind, and come on Crimewatch/Homewatch, pay your dues, but now he sits at the crime desk in the sky exhorting angels to "Keep em peeled"

This guff has been brought to you by the miracle of the internet, some poor punctuation, and the number 47.

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