Monday, June 22, 2015
Tony Blair for FIFA
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we're so glad you could attend, come inside come inside,
Readers of other guff chucked up by your correspondent will recognise the ELP ruse to get things moving, so here I go again on my own - apologies, that's Whitesnake.
I know it's been a while, but I've been a bit busy, I'm here now and there is much to discuss.
Here follows minutes of this week's meeting:
1. Tony Blair's prospective candidacy for the next Chairman of FIFA, and come on Mr Chilcott, you're being a bit tardy over that enquiry.
I am currently revisiting Adrian Mole and the Weapons of mass destruction to examine the movements of "Call me Tony" during that period, Sir, I urge you to do the same.
2. Wilkinsons - everything that Woolworths forgot to be.
4. Is it in the public interest for government to sell RBS shares, what would Gordon Brown have done? (the gold Gordon, the gold???????????)
5. The Greek flag - blue stripes or red?
Apologies again for this redacted version of matters that have arisen over the past few weeks but as I said earlier, I've been a bit busy.
They're in The Shooting Times Magazine if you're interested, alongside a page of fortnightly guff on river keeping shenanigans all of which result in small cheques through the post, a significant portion of which is taken by the taxman and the remainder blown on speed - fixed penalty notices at the moment, and Madam and myself are going to Split later this year, hopefully with the minimum of acrimony, We shall sojourn on an isle off the Croation coast a forty minute float from Split, there's no saving here, we're living for pleasure alone - and the taxman.
It's orchid and comfrey time in the meadow, and the monkey flower and forget me not show in the fringe. The orchids have been a little reluctant to put in an appearance but now nose through the long grass. The comfrey is in mid season form and its understated flowers that range from deep mauve to pale green draw the eye of all manner of buzzy things with wings.
At this point could we demand a recount in the voting for the best bird in Britain. Not the 1984 News of the World poll that saw Sam Fox pip Debbie Ashby and Linda Lusardi to a first prize of being photographed mit satin sash, tanga briefs and a wink to infer sauce, but the recent survey to determine what feathered friend should stand as our national representative.
An owl was always going to be in the running, but Robin red breast over the Blackbird is a big call.
Ok the Robin comes close, but bugger the goose and pigeon (which may/ may not have been a popular pastime in the middle ages) a Blackbird is more often than not the first thing I hear of a morning, and is Pavarotti to a Robin's rap.
There I said it, I like a bird with wings that can sing.......judge as you will, but I'm with the Beatles on matters regarding the Blackbird.
I shall conclude with the remainder of the minutes as I have been advised by people who know about these things, to be more concise in my guff,
1: Unusable broadband supply via poles and line, this house relies on mobile broadband with a limit of 15GB a month- not enough for four in a house. Who'd a thought broadband supply would be a problem in this crowded corner of England? Third world internet service in the countryside.
2: Local paper - sports pages now compiled somewhere in Dorset, no knowledge of local environs, and it shows. If somebody wants to stump up some funds and provide a factory I'll produce a rival local paper for a town/market that is expanding at an alarming rate
For identification purposes, here's a recent photo we had taken that now hangs proudly above our bed. Look out for us on Friday 31st July at The Game Fair..