Thursday 16 July 2020

Hair, Butterflies and the Potato King

This week I rolled back the years, donned my denim jacket, put in my earing and brushed my hair.

I haven’t brushed my hair for twenty years or more.

I sort of remembered what to do, and goodness there were some tangles,

But hair that required a brush all the same.

I can only see the front bit and Madam informs me that there is some form of shelf shape going on round the back. Product has been googled, quiffs considered and who knows a change of colour may be imminent.

Bar brief skirmishes with the spaniel clippers around the sides it’s been one of the more successful re-wilding projects in these parts of late.

It’s hair folks so thank you lockdown for that,

Truly a new dawn of the age of Aquarius,

now where did I put that sunshine?

Brushing my hair was followed by brushing my eyebrows, platting my nasal hair and pulling a rake across my back and chest.

In other Lockdown news (and I’ll keep it brief) Madam emerged from her educational bubble one day the other week to declare that the school were down to their last few pairs of PPE gloves. They don’t wear PPE all the time, but there are certain tasks that they must wear PPE to undertake. Madam is a first aider and must get kitted up at any sign of an incident. The recommended suppliers of PPE to the educational establishment were asking just shy of twenty pounds for a box of gloves which Madam thought sounded a tad “toppy”

I asked Madam to send me a photo of the box of PPE gloves.

The PPE gloves are the very same PPE gloves that I am paying six pound fifty for in the local country store to glove up our anglers.

I purchased five hundred pairs of gloves and dropped them off at the school.

A few questions popped into my head:

1: Who decides on recommended suppliers to schools of PPE?

2: Who holds shares in companies on the list of recommended suppliers of PPE?

3: What shall I have for lunch?

4: Why have I turned left when I should have gone right?

You’ll be aware of a mental inertia and mind drift that has set in during these crazy times (see previous chunks of guff)









The river?

Well , the general consensus among keepers that I have bumped bones with, albeit at a suitably safe social distance, is that it’s been a funny old season. Most bemoan this year’s Mayfly and a general lack of fly. It is no mid July and as I wandered aimlessly up the river yesterday evening in the name of evacuating canine bowels I saw half a dozen spent mayfly bouncing about on the water.

Once again, it’s mid July.

Fishing isn’t easy, the occasional fish take a sedge as Moss myself and Otis head upstream each morning, but most fish feed subsurface throughout the day, with a few looking up in the evening. Hatches of olive have been a little underwhelming, but kick sampling reveals plenty of larvae ligging about the gravel and weed. Weed growth remains good, so maybe they are making the most of the favourable conditions on the bed of the river and will hatch when they are ready.

Loosestrife forms the vanguard of the mid summer show in the fringe and goodness we seem to be having a big year for butterflies. Orchids are still popping up so the meadow has yet be mown, the long grass rustles with creatures various on our morning perambulate of the local.

Ducks have had a good year, but our aged dominant pair of swans have been usurped by a young couple with three young from upstream. There was quite a stand off on the top shallows for a few days before victory was secured.

Whither Wor Jackie,

Football was a little different when he Jack Charlton defended a corner.

Free from the eye of the slow motion replay, VAR and the all seeing eye of multiple cameras around a stadium, there was an awful lot going on off the ball. A current premiership referee was recently asked to "virtually" re-officate the 1970 FA Cup final won by Leeds Utd. He picked out eleven red card offences (and those were only the one’s the camera caught) the referee on the day issued a single yellow card.

It was different game then, and one in which Jack Charlton thrived.

Whether his style of play would have thrived today is open to debate, but he had a motivational skill that flourished in management with memorable domestic campaigns from the early seventies (featuring an early incarnation of Caesar Souness) and international campaigns for Eire in the late eighties and early nineties. Peaking first with an appearance in a world cup quarter final and then again with a one nil win over favourites Italy, thanks to a goal by Ray Houghton - darling of the scousers on the kop, who had a Scottish accent and wound up playing for Ireland,



Catch the goal scored by Ronnie Whelan for Jack Charlton's Ireland against Russia in Euro 88.

Face facts Rory Delap (Arriviste), possibly the greatest goal ever scored from a long throw.

Jack made some very watchable angling programmes and was a great ambassador for the sport. I once went to talk by Jack with my Dad. It was an evening in a hall somewhere on the Wirral put on by Wirral Angling Association. It was a very cold night with snow lying on the road. I don’t remember a lot more about the night other than Jack was an entertaining speaker and new enough about angling.

Buried among the news this week was a warning from the Parliamentary Public Accounts Committee that the UK was at serious risk of running out of water within 20 yrs because of policymakers, regulators and the water sector’s failure to respond to changing climate and increasing population.





Well done for that.

But nothing will happen to affect real change in my life time.

You can guess the weasels at Water UK’s response, “We’re doing our best and investing in infrastructure”

Not enough lads, so stop dishing out the big divvies and invest more in your infrastructure.

The rag that I once wrote for regularly used to begin it’s pitch with a quote from one of the King Edwards,

I don’t remember the number,

could have been the Confessor could have been the Potato King, we don't know,

but his sage words express the requirement to care for the countryside as we are but guardians of it for the next generation.

Well in this valley biodiversity has generally taken an upturn over the past few decades. The blue winged olive thing hasn't gone well and sorry kids for the experiments with bison and beaver.

Apologies kids for our abject failure in this corner of the country to respond to a changing climate and increasing demand on a precious groundwater resource.

Bome of us had a go at rootling the feckers. (See previous years of poorly written guff)

Apologies, again.

15 comments:

Nigel Ajax-Lewis said...

Too much claret, not an Edward a George.

"The wildlife of today is not ours to dispose of as we please. We have it in trust. We must account for it to those who come after". George VI

But I don't have an answer for your poor fly hatch, apart from it would appear to be an age class missing, if your kick samples are suggesting they will bounce back for next year, along with the second wave of 19 crows.

Nigel

Test Valley River Keeper said...

Cheers Nigel and thanks for the autocorrect,

I do however beg to differ,

as Peggy is to Margaret, Betty is to Liz, and Rodney is to Dave,

so Edward is to George.

I think that's right. I'm not that much up on my heraldry

Thanks, as ever, for getting in touch and for reading the rubbish that I write,

Chris

Nigel Ajax-Lewis said...

And I thought he was christened Albert Frederick Arthur George Saxe-Coburg-Gotha; one learns everyday.

Have you been suggesting that the fly hatch on the Test is poor this year, but it is alright on the Easton/Martyr Worthy stretch of the Itchen which I think is the stretch you fall in and out of?

And yes I read it all as it is nostalgic amongst other things.

Test Valley River Keeper said...

Cheers Nigel,

Google confirms that the quote derived from King Dave IV

Fly pretty poor on both rivers, which is a bit of a worry.

Chris

Ludgershall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Theresa williams said...

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Nigel Ajax-Lewis said...

I don't see any riverfly management spells in his repertoire which suggests you are advertising to the wrong audience.

Test Valley River Keeper said...

Hello Theresa,

Thanks, as ever for getting in touch.

I'm really sorry that the "situation" with Anderson has yet to be resolved. What strange times we live in.

I apologise again for the spelling in this poorly written chunk of guff and would like to thank you for your offer of help with regards to all things "i" before "e" except after "c" or was it "d"!?

Thanks again for getting in touch and for the offer of assistance. I am sure that, given time, Anderson will see the error of his ways and return to the warmth of your bosom,

In the meantime, "keep em peeled"

Chris

Test Valley River Keeper said...

No spells Nigel,

but while your on,

further research confirms there is no variety of potato named after King George,

Some corners of the internet suggest the quote under discussion could be attributed to King Pentlan Javelin III,

Will confirm in the morning,

Chris

Nigel Ajax-Lewis said...

Are you sure it was not Maris Piper IX??

I would never believe everything on Google, which is where I got that quote via Twitter "The wildlife of today is not ours to dispose of as we please. We have it in trust. We must account for it to those who come after". George VI by searching on ST quote from George VI.

It does not seem exactly correct to me.

I have been familiar with it for more than 50 years being told it by forestry/nature conservation officials before I found it in the ST, where I did not think it was very appropriate. Having check while passing a newsagents I see ST do not use it these days.

Anyway it is lunch at Old Trafford and in the Peat Spade...

Test Valley River Keeper said...

Cripes Nigel, I could chuck up some guff about The Peat Spade,

I was under their part time employ back in the eighties slicing cucumbers and washing pots for landlord Mark Owen. I once had to masquerade as a chef of some repute at a high end wedding at Marsh Court that Mark had agreed to cater for.

The name Geoffrey Robinson rings a bell.

We seemed to carry it off, but goodness we were winging it.

Chris

Nigel Ajax-Lewis said...

I was being far more sedate having a lunch-time pints with Kim Debenham in the early 1970s, trying to hide Malachite Green stains from my hands and other bits of me.

Test Valley River Keeper said...

I did a year work experience on Leckford in 86/87 before three years at Sparsholt.

Kim was head keeper when I started but sadly died in October 86. I remember the river regularly running blue with malachite each Autumn. During my time at The Houghton Club it was a weekly operation and us nippers were required to jump in the pond being treated and make sure there were no "gaps" where fish could miss the treatment. In crystal form it was great fun to put a few crystals in a colleague's hair, especially if there was rain about.

It worked as a fungacide, but also made the ears of some mice fall off in lab experiments across the pond and was subsequently banned due to it being carcinogenic.

Thanks for sparking some memories and also for reading the rubbish that I write,

Chris

Nigel Ajax-Lewis said...

Yep I was aware of it's possible carcinogenicity but nothing has fallen off yet.

Heck you had to work hard to get on the course, I merely had to compete with 300 other applicants and be interviewed for 12 places but being Hampshire born and bred had an advantage as they [HCC] were paying for it, but it was only a 12 month course, and split between gamekeeping and riverkeeping.

Alex Behrendt of Two Lakes put a photograph of Kim and I and the rest of the course in his book "the Management of Angling Waters"; Interesting stocking arrangements between Leckford and Two Lakes for scaring retired Rear Admirals with the occasional monster rainbow. No fisherman allowed on site before 11.00 am or was it midday to allow the theatricals to be managed ahead of the customers?

I did talk to Alex about working more with nature but his contention was that nature was not commercial enough for him.


We must stop doing this because it is sparking too many memories for both of us.

The Two Terriers said...

Morning Chris,

Theresa sounds a nice girl, or is she? You never know these days. The Boss bought a set of hair clippers and mines trimmed to a No 2 now, 'just wash and go' as they used to say. I'm told I look like a retired skinhead.

You nearly started me off on water grids and all that but what's the point they don't give a toss, well not until water is like toilet rolls at the start of lockdown but then you won't be able to flush anyway. Perhaps being into earth closets and half pages of Farmer's Weekly is the way to invest. I don't mean literally into earth closets obviously. Anyway there'll be floods this winter coupled with hand wringing and ignoring the problem.

Stay safe and keep them coming. All the best, John