Prego,
This week's report comes to you live from the rooftop of an apartment block in Sardinia, and before any badmashes and n'eredowells think "ha-ha, he's away" there is a team of professionals plus trained dogs filling in at home during our sojourn on the east coast of Sardinia.
Rudimentary travel tackle is in, it dawned while packing that much of my foreign fishing kit is shoved under a bed somewhere in Melbourne.
We are in the Gulf of Orosei, a stunning part of the world that you may remember from this year's TV smash " A Hundred Years Younger in 21 days" in which celebrities such as June Brown, Sid Owen Shaun Ryder and Cozy Powell (I may have dreamt that last one) had their body and mental age assessed before undergoing lifestyle changes that would increase the combined total of their life expectancy by one hundred years. It is beyond belief that a second series has not been commissioned.
Anyway the Gulf of Orosei or Cala Ganone to be exact. An hour and a half drive from Olbia airport on a very good dual carriageway through some incredibly rugged country. By the way, that bridge that collapsed in Genoa, dreadful business. Been over it a few times when we were down that way, how such an important arterial route could reach such a shoddy state and result in so many deaths and resultant years of chaos is nothing short of scandalous.
Apologies, The Gulf of Orosei. (and by the way, I don't hold with this cult for piling up stones, come on The Cheesewring you've a lot to answer for)
Turning off the dual carriageway and driving to Dorgali a tunnel takes you through a line of high hills and then a few miles down to the coast. Before the tunnel it was an interminable switchback track over the top or a boat ride across the bay. It's an international marine reserve crystal clear water carpets of sea grass and some sensational snorkelling. Fish are in abundance with all the usual suspects present along with some quite exotic wrasse that I don't think I have seen before, yes there are dolphins and occasionally the odd whale, but the bay is principally fabled as being the last bastion of the Monk Seal. (Readers may remember his popular day time detective series in the 90s) Monk Seal were thought to have been wiped out as he is a timid beast who likes a cave and little noise who probably spoke out against the tunnel through the top of the mountain when it was subjected to the planning committee.
Each morning we take in a charge of hire boats tearing across the bay for prime spots on inaccessible beaches
and inevitably P Diddy is in the house.
One is drawn to think, whither brer monk seal, but there are sanctuaries, many caves inaccessible to maritime traffic and with an abundant fish population Monk Seal's numbers are on the up.
Monk Seal, solving crime in a sea of sardines.
Most of my shirts were ironed during this afternoon detective series when the children were small.
With a nod to Monk Seal our choice of craft for high sea travel this year something of which Dave Angel would approve (google him kids, he was very much the Caroline Lucas of his day) has no engine. There are enough petrol driven motors carving up the sea in this international marine reserve and my excellent electric Minkota outboard motor didn't make the trip (ordered it online from Canada at the same time as a pair of gloves from Penrith, guess which arrived first?) So we have a double canoe with no engine, just paddles. I have assumed Captain status as I have the hat and some previous in the paddles and coracles field. I was quite the paddler in my teenage years and once ran a world championship course in Wales albeit mostly upside down,
Moving away from the environment to social issues, we have already established that there is one road into this town and one road out. Streets are narrow and parking is of a premium. On several occasions we have come across verbal altercations over whose space is whose because the only alternative is to park long way back up the hill. A division of parking inspectors (all female coincidently) maintains order and tickets are regularly issued. The only beneficiaries in this parking apartheid being the blue badge holders who retain a large part of the harbour walls for their parking needs, which is great. The parking scheme has also had the added benefit of reducing the strain on the care system with families seemingly only too keen to keep an ailing relative at home in order to secure convenient parking in town. We walked around the harbour yesterday morning and half a dozen blue bay cars harboured folk half asleep while Driver MacGyver was engaged on business elsewhere in town.
In other news, I was stuck in the lift the other morning with an Italian lady who assured me she had control of matters but clearly didn't. I was also jocked off a ride in the same lift by a lady with a herd of Springer spaniels who lives a few floors below our Air BNB. While we're on the lift the doors make a noise when they open reminiscent of reaching the final stage of The Adventure Game,.
You half expect Moira Stewart and an Aspidistra to greet you as you reach your desired floor.
On our first night the bones of our lady of some such thing or other were paraded through the streets
and last night we were serenaded by the local operatic society in the street below despite having already donned our night caps and gowns.
It's that kind of place, a little bit crazy but great fun and stunning all the same.
Buona sera, Chow, Arrivederci.....Parla Inglese?
