Gilded Octopedes Dusted with Snow

Apologies but there now follows a report and pictoral evidence of recent movements over half term,



there is of course a photograph of a dog.










France again.

Lille first for two nights.

We've visited before, but only to park the car under the station to catch trains to other places.

This time the car was parked in its familiar berth and we headed on foot for the hotel.

Unfortunately I put in a request to Google maps for a route to our billet by car and for a brief period we were trundling our cases along the ring road after a twenty five minute walk we arrived at the hotel only to spy the station car park we had left twenty five minutes ago a five minute walk away at the end of a super smooth pedestrianised street.

Lille is a terrific place to spend a few days.

Typically Flemish there is of course a square and a tower with a clever carillon and numerous bells that belted out "Ode to Joy" every fifteen minutes.

Lots of little streets and some incredibly smart shopping were all ignored as we headed first for the river and the Citadel built by the Sun King's favoured mover of earth and piler of bricks - Vauban.

It's an impressive construction and it still plays host to over a thousand soldiers as its impressive defences are still considered current despite being hundreds of years old. There is a very nice walk of just over a mile around the outside that follows what serves as a moat, which is full of fish and teeming with life.

Shopping next before food which on one night was extremely good, on the other exceptional, and if you are ever in these parts book a table at Aqui Ba Pla ( you heard it here first folks) We booked four weeks in advance as it's a small place run by a young couple plus one who are undoubtedly going places. It was one of the best dinners we have handed money over for.

Here's one of somebody running away from the circus,

Here's the hotel where IMF chief Dominique Straus Khan donned pantihose and mask to host exotic soirees.

and a dog observing me and my mid morning coffee

(this dog feature is increasingly reminiscent of the weekly inclusion of the cuddly toy on The Generation Game's conveyor belt)

Forget Finland Iceland and Norway. Since the increase in popularity of serried ranks of shiplap sheds peddling glue wine tinned sausage and associated Teutonic tat there has been a shift in the claim to be the home of Christmas.

It's already Christmas in Flemland and forget your Magi, wandering star and virgin birth on straw in a stable. This year's Christmas message has been cleverly encapsulated in a golden octopus entombed in plastic and sprinkled with snow.



A purchase was made, Christmas is ours and once again this house is breaking new ground.

After two nights it was onto a very fast and comfortable two storey train that dumped us on platform 11 of Gare Du Nord in Paris.

We were based deep in the fleshpots of Montmartre, a skip and a giggle away from the Moulin Rouge.

Hotel located and luggage left, it was off up to Sacre Coeur for a sandwich in the sun and a quick spy of the land. It was very busy and despite our fondness for the things we eschewed the Funicular and took the steps as Madam's clever wristwatch reminded us that we had been sitting down for an hour on the train.

Galleries Lafayette next for a quick coffee and a marvel at the interior, and at this point I'd like to raise a petition to shift what remains of the bones of Bonaparte under the golden dome of Les Invalides to the Galleries Lafayette and its equally impressive interior and substantial cone of helium balloons.

On to the arcades around Opera where Space Invaders and Pac-man had been replaced by winged foxes with décolletage embellished by sapphires and diamonds.

Which gave these old covered alleys a contemporary feel.

Up the Champs Elysees to the Arc and a climb of the stairs for a second spy of the land. The view is terrific, but the true entertainment lies in watching the traffic circumnavigate the roundabout on which the Arc sits. It's not as lawless as some Italian Cities we have driven in and there is a kind of order it's just that some of the order seems to relate back to the world of carriage and horse and a few white lines may help,

the same holds for the wide open plains of Place de Concorde which is void of "Give Way" signs and just nuts!

Late afternoon and Madam's clever wristwatch insisted that we sit down and take wine on board, which we duly did somewhere around Opera.

The following day with the continental breakfast on board it was on to the train to Les Invalides to pick over the bones of what remains of the "Little Emperor" We stayed near the golden dome on our last visit and were aware that if we used the Eiffel tower as our guide a reasonable lunch could be sourced fairly easily.

Unfortunately the top two thirds of the Eiffel Tower had been removed for maintenance and many steps were added to Rachel's clever wristwatch during our blind bumblings and at this point could I point out to the "Big Noises" of Paris that most lighthouses have a horn that sounds during fog to aid navigation

Anyway we found the river and the planned route was rejoined.

Franprix are a company who have an extensive stable of small supermarkets in the centre of the city. For the last five years they have done away with the fleet of fifty lorries that supplied their premises each day from their distribution centre to the north and now use the river to replenish their stores. The monster truck used to unload the craft was something to behold but the combined emissions from the monster truck and the boat were significantly less than the fifty odd trucks that used to trundle into the city each day. A small crowd gathered to take in the unloading process which took place a skip and a giggle away from Eiffel's tower.

Yes the HS2 and come on the Northern Powerhouse and Midland Engine but shouldn't the UK be making more use of the Grand Union Canal.




Late afternoon and Madam's watch once again advised us to sit down and take wine on board, which we did, this time down by the river.

Last day and we headed for the Musee de Picasso to tick the "culture" box and also because both Madam and myself lean towards the more modern stuff over a dimly lit "Old master" and plus there were some bits by Giacometti which are always worth a deco.

Unfortunately two of the three floors of the Picasso museum were closed so we headed instead for the nearby Musee des Arts et Metiers, which is a terrific place to spend a couple of hours.

All manner of things are on show from Victorian wallpaper making machines, spy cameras in bowler hats, guns and cravats, Bleriot's plane, and even a room of famous bridges that include a small section given over to significant bridges of Britain in which I was disappointed not to feature.

Wallace and Gromit would love the place,

Here's one of a vidi printer.

A precursor of the tremendous force that is Jeff Stelling. Such things were employed to convey football results as they happened on a Saturday afternoon, because believe it or not kids once upon time all football league games used to end around 4.45pm on a Saturday with the only live football experience the FA Cup Final whose coverage began at 10.30am on each team bus making its way to Wembley.

These are all spy cameras, bowler hat, cravat and all.

The machine on the right is a cinema projector, the machine in the middle is the cinema sound system.

Tales of the Unexpected - Da Da Da, doobydoo Da Da Da

Madam even found a super computer (IBM 7030 also know as Stretch - I googled it) which her Father may well once have had the manual for somewhere in his briefcase.

It's a super museum give it a go if you are ever in these parts.

Here's one of me in Chanel,

The town hall with Olympic rings,

And then it was time to go home, four days is about enough for this bunch of bumpkins in this full on city, but we'll undoubtedly return.





River stuff to follow soon.

but by way of a preview here's one of Otis trying to take down four figures worth of drone,

He doesn't do drones

Stay tuned to see how it ends.