Legal Problems in the Wood lead to a TR7 in Space

Forgive me everyone, I know it's not long since I was last on but once again I have become cross with the curate's egg that is the current form of Countryfile.

This Sunday past we were gifted a brief homage to Graculus by some cove formed from three parts tofu, followed by a short piece regarding the importance of stands of reed to the Bittern.

A brace of ornithological eulogies and both fish eating birds I hear you cry, but the first is increasingly abundant inland, is impacting upon freshwater fish stocks and can be shot under licence. The second has been a threatened species for many years and needs all the help it can get.

The Cormorant should have been called out for its impact on freshwater fish supplies and not purred over for the colour of its inky black feathers.

The Bittern was rightly promoted as a species that needs a bit of a leg up.

Sort it out Countryfile, you can be more than a bit flakey at times.

Anyway,

Following recent posts it has been pointed out that Child A and Child B are no longer children. I may be in denial over this one and a quick check of birth certificates confirms that Child A is pushing twenty five and Child B has just passed twenty three and thus are exempt from all child protection protocols regarding identity, and yes I am about to enter my sixth decade.

The picture just down on the right taken last year debunks all theories regarding moisturiser, clean living and gym membership.

Madam informs me that the picture on the right wasn't taken last year.

Anyway

Call this a Christening, Aqiqah, Hollekreisch or Namkaran,

whatever you like, or nothing at all,

but from this day forth Child A shall be known as Maisie and Child B as William. Maisie's "Plus One" is Callum their dog is called Ava and Otis remains as Otis. The lady who sleeps on my left continues to be Madam and I remain the Doofus that chucks up guff.

I hope that's provided some clarity for the troublemakers who were querying bonafides regarding Child A (Maisie) and Child B (William)

Many steps recently in the name of lengthening life saw us conquer footpaths across ploughed fields. You'll remember the chap who likes to shoot our pheasants that exit out of the side of his strip of maize? well this footpath crosses his "many signed domain". Some landowners would leave a thin grass strip to mark the way, and once again when it comes to this particular bunch

?

but, no matter.

We were several inches taller once we had conquered the ploughed up peak to take in a view that confirmed that the field known as spring bottom remains springless. The signs are there that it could break soon but to all the flat earthers, it has not been a wet winter in these quarters, just a what was considered a "normal" winter a decade or more ago.

Here's one of the field on the edge of the village that has been known across the ages as "Spring Bottom" I've high hopes that there will be a small splash of water in the centre of this field sometime in March but it remains dry at the moment.

It is still only February, so more rain please, the Scandinavians seem to cope with worse.

If I practice the bongos in the hopefully wet weeks to come, can we all agree to learn the words of the following song to form a rousing chorus come early April.



One ray of light appeared recently regarding education regarding groundwater and how it work in this valley. Kids from the local primary school have produced a leaflet to push through doors. Provisionally titled "Ditch Aware" it calls for the local populace to be careful about what they chuck in what may appear to be a dry ditch but one winter day will hoipefully be a fully fledged water course carrying all within it to the precious river that runs through their village.

Well done the kids,

Well done the teachers

and well done their much put upon assistants.

Why were Liverpool playing in Readybrek orange in their win over Southampton on Sunday? White or Yellow with numbers one to eleven used to serve as an away kit when I stood on the Kop (for £2) in the early eighties. and while we are on football how does the leader of the player's union justify an annual remuneration of over two million pounds.

First up, he's a Union leader, and secondly a significant number of the sides in the lower leagues pay their entire squad (who he represents) a similar sum.

He picked up over three million two seasons ago

Anyway (we seem to be saying this a lot of late)

We've found some more Christmas tree that have fallen over in the wood and have set about them with the saws. I don't think I made mention of it on here but Lord Ludg ran me over with the tractor a while back, it was all in slow motion but I did end up prone with the back wheel on my leg. This week, by way of payback, I managed to drop a substantial christmas tree on him and the tractor. The English (a legal eagle by trade) is encouraging (sotto voce) all manner of action from either side, but in the spirit of "Detente" Myself and Lord Ludg have reached agreement that if he doesn't run me over again I won't drop any more Christmas trees on his head.

We've many hard wood trees on order that must be planted in the gaps that have been created and also a heap of green French oak on order for the bridge replacement work.

A few grayling anglers have put in an appearance and despite "all that rain" the river remains fishable. Two fish around the two pound mark were caught at the weekend when fish fed hard for a an hour or two in the afternoon.

I love the Winter Olympics,

There, I said it.

I'm no skier, skater or sledger but man some of these youngsters performing somersaults on an ironing board are not old enough to drink beer or drive, and hey, come on Maisie and William (Child A and Child B as was), up your game with regard to winter sports, are impressive at what they do, how they do it and their attitude towards competitive sport.

Oh yes, enlightenment regarding the following matter would be much appreciated as I may have misheard the radio wallah, but why has somebody sent a TR7 into space?

Space is an awfully long way away and the TR7 was notoriously unreliable. I know James Bond had a lotus that was equally unreliable that could drive underwater but surely this mission is doomed to failure.

What times we live in.