Me Matt Baker, A Hedgehog and The Triads

Ohayou everybody and all hail the power of the offload.

A chunk of angry guff about the lack of rain, dunderheads and weasels and it hasn't stopped raining since.

Clearly this marks me out as some kind of Influencer or possibly a See-er.

Rest assured that the Juju wood remains close to hand, runes will be regularly consulted and a doll of the CEO at Command Centre Central with accompanying pins sits on the coffee table.

The springs that ran dry a few weeks ago are now oozing once again but remain much diminished. This wet week has done an awful lot of good in this valley and our local weather reporter insists that the ground is now saturated,

it isn't and this valley could take quite a bit more yet.

The good people of Lincoln, some of whom currently entertain lampreys in the lounge, may disagree, but we have have become quietly conditioned to prolonged spells of dry weather that many would happily consider the norm.

The Weather wallah in The Thunderer chucked up an excellent piece saying as much, it's a pity it was buried on one side of a rear page and didn't feature more prominently.

Enough of the eau, we have sufficient for the next few weeks, but regular replenishment is a must if we are to continue to use our groundwater in the way that we do.



Fishing has become difficult. Brer Brown Trout will always become a tad subdued following the feast of mayfly. It may be a few weeks before they nibble regularly at dainties on the surface, while many will switch to sub surface feeding. We've a few pale watery olives and medium olives hatching most afternoons and one dry evening this week we experienced a small fall of sherry spinner, which is always a welcome sight what with the well chronicled decline of the blue winged olive population. Most fish currently fall to Klinkhammers, Parachute flies and CDC patterns. The catch records from twenty five years ago would be void of such names, with Greenwells Glory, GRHE, Wickhams and Terry's Terror very much to the fore. Different artificials imitating natural flies that have not changed across the ages. Careful presentation is always key, with an eye to how the trout will view your offering from below.

At this time of year we are scheduled to engage deep cover with the aquatic forces of ranunculus, water parsnip, water celery and starwort.

Only we aren't.


It's the June weed cut and there isn't much to cut. July could be a different story but bar tickling up a few bits of celery and parsnip that stand proud of the water that would affect the presentation of an artificial fly, it's a weed cut when we leave as much as we can.

Here's a tale of two ash trees.

The ash on the right is suffering significant dieback and will have to be felled this winter, its brother from another mother on the left bank is in rude health and demonstrates some immunity.

Hedgehogs are not trusted by labradors.

Every lab we have had has been driven doolally by their presence. Moss met his first hog in the garden this week which set him barking manically about the place.

I don't know what it is but labradors just don't do hedgehogs

Oh yes, remember the wrath of Lord Ludg and his impulsive scorched earth policy, when villages were raised to the ground and vast swathes of the county reduced to charred earth.

Well here's that piece of fen now. Alive with all things that buzz.

Common Comfry or Knitbone is a particular favourite at this time of the year.

Despite his Fireballs and thunderbolts, he's quite the conservationist is Lord Ludg.

On occasion I have been critical, both on here and in magazines, of BBC's Countryfile.

My main beef being that it had become lightweight and an hour homage to highlight things that used to go on in the countryside.

But well done Countryfile for their recent programme that highlighted the plight of the European Eel.

Anguilla Anguilla has had a tough time of it for a few years now with the number of glass eels returning from the Sargasso sea to european rivers significantly reduced. It was a mystery to many but Countryfile cracked the case and it turns out it was The Triads.

Glass eels are purchased from unscrupulous sources or caught in nets and transferred around half way around the world in suitcases to be baked in pies.

It was a new one on me and there must be other forces contributing to brer eels decline, but well done Countryfile and lay off our eels you no good Triads.

I can't believe I'm going to say this again, but well done Countryfile for their programme broadcast two weeks ago - the chalk stream special.

Ok there were whacky art piece features and mention could have been made of the importance of angling to conserving the chalk streams, but well done for bringing up the bagged salad brigade who pour their phosphates and pesticides into these rivers in the name of Waldorf, Caeser and Nicoise.

Me Matt Baker adopted a suitably grave tone and the viewer was left in no doubt as to who the finger was being pointed at regarding increased nasties in chalk rivers.

Me Matt Bakker didn't mention that an investigation by Command Centre Central instigated after the Salmon & Trout Association invoked European Habitat Directive forcing the EA to act concluded

"discharges from Bakkovar's site at Arlesford are threatening the fragile Upper Itchen and Arlesford Pond"

The following didn't make the final cut either:

"The Investigation firstly exposed a failing in the factory's own sewage works. The sewage is now being tankered away and discharges should not restart. The headwasters of a chalk stream is not the right place to dump sewage"

I'd add that an area producing bagged salad for human consumption is not the right place to be playing fast and loose with the currency of tanker driver Poo Poo Pete (he empties our septic tank and wears a hat bearing this monikor)

The Salmon & Trout Association (who do great things) also pointed out that the environmental impact caused by the bagged salad brigade was picked up by private individuals and their own monitoring of invertebrate populations and water quality.

Command Centre Central's monitoring had not highlighted any problem.

The Salmon & Trout Association also expressed concern over the chronic impact of pesticide and phosphate use and the gradual rise in levels in groundwater and the aquatic environment.

Acute environmental impacts are all too obvious and get all the heat when it comes to a good news story,

Chronic environmental impacts creep up insidiously.

Since we arrived in this valley phosphate levels measured annually in our drinking water drawn directly from the ground have increased a little each year, while regular readers will be aware of a chronic decline in groundwater levels in this valley.

Once again,

Well done Countryfile, well done Me Matt Baker and three cheers for The Salmon & Trout Association.

Regular readers of this guff will be aware that I am Happy When It Rains.




Saw then three times at Brixton Academy.

The day that Madam reduced my "Automatic for the People" tour T shirt to duster status still stands as one of the darker days of our union.