Thursday 23 April 2020

Merry Christmas Everyone!



Apologies everyone for the delay in posting guff. Seem to have lost track of time in lockdown so

Merry Christmas everyone,

Tree went up last week, the advent candle has been lit, although we have yet to source some crackers. Clearly another product that people have been panic buying.

I’ll own that a shortage of sauerkraut on the shelves came as a surprise.

I’m quite the proponent of fermented cabbage, and directly attribute my youthful complexion and regular bowel movements to the consumption of a large jar of the red variety each week. A large scoop with a wedge of brie (cottage cheese, if the pounds have piled on) and some serrano ham in a jacket potato is a dish that I thought was known only to myself and the gods, but the shelves have been clear of red sauerkraut for weeks.

Quite rightly, PPE and Corona Pop testing kits get all the heat when it comes to shortages and delivery dates, but the supply of red sauerkraut is fast becoming the elephant in the room come 5.00pm each evening.

Current delivery estimates for Dawton’s finest are around mid May. There is none to be had anywhere in these Isles.

Thanks very much to child A (Maisie) who managed to source online, the last two jars in a deli near her old Uni digs, They arrived in a box built for six bottles of wine - which immediately induced a certain state of anticipation, a state that was only increased further by the revelation that the box contained two jars of the “food of the gods” for which we give great thanks.



Back on the river, mothballs are very much the order of the day.

We’re good to go.

We’ve a plan in place on how our rods can fish safely and with minimum risk of spreading infection. It will require everyone to buy into the protocols and also for government consent for people to travel for exercise while maintaining social distancing.

Been cutting weed all week, which is a tremendous thing and I realise how lucky I am to be stood in the middle of a special chalk stream swishing a scythe in the sunshine. Hawthorn have hatched the past few afternoons, and yes, fish are looking up and taking bugs various from the surface. I considered putting a rod up and flicking a fly on video, but it doesn’t seem quite right at the moment, with advice from quarters various to refrain from fishing. Perhaps when rods are allowed back on the bank I’ll get out my rod.



With a nod to the bonce, when this nonsense is finally done and we all walk the streets for the first time it will be clear who had a hairdresser/barber in the house and who didn’t. The household of the hairdresser will emerge perfectly coiffured having had a member of the household, bored out of their minds, with scissors aplenty, keen to employ their skills every other day.

Yes, Some people will emerge from their isolation, blinking never having had hair so attended to.

Others however, and this is where dreams of a fringe return, will emerge with pigtails, buns and a hue of hair that close friends and associates may find quite surprising.

With a nod to weed cutting, I’ve a creative bent with a scythe and would welcome a new medium such as a barnet on a bonce.

I know cornrows and Nike ticks get all the heat when it comes to close cropped hair designs, but if anybody want a bar cut bonce delivered via the medium of turk scythe in waders, don’t be a stranger.

In wildlife news I can report that we have a bittern about, a cuckoo, a great grey shrike, great egret and several swallows. Not seen them myself , but sightings on the common just downstream have been reported on several birding sites by several people who have travelled many miles to peep through their binoodlers at feathered friends.

??

A standard for this house for the current season now follows:



4 comments:

The Two Terriers said...


I am about to watch your "A River runs through it' films with a beer in hand while the sun continues to blaze down on West Norfolk. A fine , they had long hair toocomment about the old barnet, I look like the professor in 'Back To the Future' but with even more hair. Even the scarecrows in nearby fields are casting covetous glances. Which is worrying. The river by the way looks wonderful and the asparagus was wonderful too. Tonight Cromer Crab and some local new potatoes grown in a tunnel. The food of the Gods. A happy New Year to you and yours. Time flies in lock-down. John

The Two Terriers said...


PS Any chance of Sophia Loren wandering over that footbridge? Just for a little glamour and atmosphere you understand. John

Test Valley River Keeper said...

Happy New Year John, hipe you and yours are well,

Soon be Burn's night.

Sophia Loren once atrributed all that was placed before you to the extreme and determined consumption of pasta,

I fear those days are gone,

Lorraine Kelly in wellies may have to suffice,

Chris

The Two Terriers said...


OK, I watch and wait for the 'art-film' sequels to come. John

PS I'm looking forward to Shrove Tuesday and Easter. Soon be here.