Apologies for the tardiness regarding regular posts on this site but for two weeks we have been battered and held fast in the grip of Hurricane Moss.
Currently around six square feet of wall paper is missing from the kitchen wall. I ventured out into the garden one day last week and found the precious Sky remote control teetering on the edge of the pond.
Sitting down in the kitchen for a fine lunchtime repast of Jacket potato corned beef and sauerkraut.
There I said it, I'm a big fan of European fermented cabbage, deal with it.
Anyway, mid cabbage, in marches Moss with my ipad in his mouth.
Called to the door to receive fish destined for the smoker, I returned to the kitchen to find half of the dirty cutlery removed from the dishwasher.
We receive regular quizzical glances from Otis that seem to say "Why this?"
Yesterday things took a piratical turn as Moss raided the dishwasher and put in a few laps of the sofa with a sharp knife between his teeth.
We have also broken new ground with regard to personal grooming and while some may enjoy having the dead skin nibbled from their feet by fish each evening I have the hair plucked from nasal and aural cavities by a labrador.
As I write, he has just finished forging new routes through our small garden and is now chewing the fridge door.
In Avian news the Owl has gone. We gave him his last piece of chicken fillet (This bird has enjoyed significantly better cuts of meat than I have during his two week sojourn chez de Cani) popped him in the hedge by the vegetable garden where he hung around for five minutes before taking flight without so much of a thank you, best wishes or chin chin.
Uncivil birds Owls.
We have many butterflies and bees
and hundreds of damsel flies dance about the fringe throughout the day.
The June weed cut was the heaviest it has been for some years. There can't be much weed left in the upper Dever and last weekend we had a bit of a moment when the hatch on the house became blocked and the millstream rose slowly as I gave battle with a cut willow limb that had become jammed in the culvert that passes under the road. Communication between keepers is key during a heavy weed cut and we were very grateful for the many "heads up" from upstream regarding weed on its way.
I've known heavier cuts, but with ranunculus in flower weed has been cut with an eye to possible low water conditions in July and August as once ranunculus flowers its rate of growth is reduced. We may need some bars of weed later in the summer to maintain depth. Fish are increasingly fickle now the business of mayfly is done with small and brown a reasonable guide to which fly to put on during the day with a few drawn to increasing numbers of sedge in the evening.
Oh yes, Bake off - The Professionals (Sunday night C4)
Why no Bodie and Doyle and that goto guy for "parsimonious Scot" whose name I forget off the Fine Fare advert?
This week I was once again required to give an account of my movements to a gathering of village elders. As ever, a difficult crowd who thankfully no longer throw fruit with the vigour that they once did. You know it's time to wrap up the show when they start talking among themselves which happened after around forty minutes this year.
Recent rumination while swishing a scythe centred around the current drive for further river restoration projects on the chalk streams, much of which centres around bank re profiling, making the river wiggle and riffle and tipping lots of gravel into deeper reaches.
All noble stuff and boy aren't some trumpets blown hard by some once the work is complete and brown trout are found to be present because that is the fish that is the chief driver behind the work.
I have a lot to thank Salmo Trutta for.
My principle source of income relies on Brer Brown Trout being on good form and present in numbers. But wasn't one of the main criticisms of chalk stream management in the last quarter of the 20th century that it all became to "troutcentric" Put simply, if it wasn't a trout it was coming out.
Now before any keyboard warriors brim full of internet enlightenment get in touch. I'm not knocking river restoration work, there is undoubtedly some good work going on at the moment, but what about other species of fish native to the chalk streams. A chap in fine fleece and cutting edge walking shoes once suggested that we heap a hundred tonnes of gravel into the hundred yards of deeper water upstream from the fishing hut to create a faster streamier stretch. The notion has some merit for the brown trout but the stretch also plays host to a number of big roach, perch and pike who may not be too enamoured with a shallower stream and would be displaced and biodiversity is reduced. We have an increasing number of anglers visit during the winter to target this species along with the grayling. If those species are displaced we lose those anglers who are stakeholders in the chalk stream environment and subsequently have an interest in its welfare.
Well done for the river restoration work, but let's not get carried away and throw hundreds of tonnes of gravel into every deep slow reach of this river system.
A new medium for the Spinners this week. Ever the creatives they've branched out to the medium of pop art with this composition coincidentally titled "The Spinners"
Well Jury Service was a non event. Held in an ante chamber for six hours while legal types wrangled in the adjacent court only to be told that the trail had been cancelled and we could all go home for the two we that we had been summoned. I don't know what costs are incurred in the cancellation of a trail at crown court but it has happened forty seven times this year. Judge Judy returns home to tend her roses, and clerks, ushers and counsel repair to iron capes and buff up wigs. While we're on the formalities of court isn't the whole wig and cape thing a tad archaic? it's all a bit like George the third does batman. Surely in this day and age we could have some more contemporary garment possibly with a name and number on the back to signify their role in court.
It's just a thought.
The world of justice's loss was the world of wood's gain as the best machine of 2017 was put into action to split enough logs for next winter and part of the one after that.
You will note the Nordic method of log stacking employed on the stack on the left.
And the Bransbury method by our back door.
Mayfly fishing has been productive with over a hundred fish on the bank by the end of the month. Currently fish are preoccupied with spent mayfly and lie doggo for much of the day to feed after five. We have also experienced some heavy hatches of medium olives with sherry spinners falling on the water in the evening. Weed growth continues to be prolific and we have more ranunculus in flower than for some years although we have gradually tweaked the hatch on the Mill house closed as the small surplus of flow that we enjoyed at the beginning of the month recedes. Water clarity is very good with no sign of any foam and relatively little of the insidious brown algae that rises from the river bed in sunny conditions to break up in broken water and taint the river. An indication that the river had a reasonable "scrub behind the ears" over the winter.
Whisper it quietly but Command centre central have finally acknowledged that substantial numbers of swans are impacting upon the biodiversity of precious chalk streams. A trial scheme on the neighbouring Avon in which broods were limited to a pair of chicks under licence has proved so successful that it is to be rolled out to other rivers. Thirty swans on a beat will strip the river clean of weed, particularly ranunculus, causing a detrimental impact to the invertebrate population that calls ranunculus home and subsequently on the fish and bird populations that feast upon the invertebrates, This isn't supposition, it has happened all too often in recent decades particularly on several tributaries of the Avon. More licences are to be issued to limit the number of eggs a pair of swans can produce and yes it all sounds a bit Chairman Mao but swans f the requisite size to roll out such a scheme that maintains a stable population of an animal impacting upon biodiversity in the chalk stream. Effective fishery management,
or keepering as it was once known.
A week or so ago I received a call from Madam on her evening ritual of taking a walk in order to reintroduce herself to the outside world after the madness and stress of working in a Primary School that is severely financially stretched.
She had found a young owl sitting in the middle of the track so could I come and take a look. We live in a particularly owl rich part of the world and we've previous in this. It was a young tawny owl who had fallen out of its tree, Tawny owls are relatively good parents and will feed the chick on the ground or help it to a higher place. We undertook a watching brief for a few hours but with the light fading and Reynard on the prowl we took the decision to pop him in a pen and throw chicken at him each evening as the light faded. He was off his legs for twenty four hours but has gained in vigour with each passing day and is currently practising flapping his wings with an eye to possibly taking flight in a week or so.
It's been a while since we did any product placement so here goes. I was once a little sniffy regarding rechargeable equipment for use up the river. Battery life, build quality, the ability to carry out the task for which it has been designed. But all that has now changed. What was the cause of this damascene moment?
The recent purchase of the Stihl HLA 85 Pole Hedge cutter. With the Partridge upon me I'd like to espouse the two hours of battery life produced by the Ap 200 unit the tremendous build quality and maximum telescopic length of three metres.
That's the Stihl HLA 85 everyone
(Come on Stihl you can reciprocate accordingly for this plug)
No noisy engine so every word of Test Match Special can be heard
(Come on ECB no third test against Pakistan and over a month before the next Test Match - nuts!)
No exhaust fumes and the knowledge that with each trim of the fringe, planet earth is that little bit safer.
The Stihl HLA 85
Names currently under consideration for impending new puppy:
Stihl HLA 85
Judge Judy
The Defendant
Errol
Graeme Swann
Only all this careful consideration over names is not now required.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you Moss!
Kennel name - Maurice Moss Have you tried turning it off and on again?
He's full on and goodness you forget how much work is involved with bringing up a pup. Otis has taken to him, although dips out of some of the more energetic activities which is only to be expected for a dog of such venerability.
Apologies but it's loin cloth, cave and shaking fist at outside world time again.
On three occasions this season, and we're only five weeks in, I have had anglers say to me that they had fished at such and such a place recently and had not seen a fish. Negotiating the banks had been a mission in itself and they were considering giving up their rod that they had held for some years. They were three separate stretches of chalk stream.
It is a worrying trend that some seem to have gone over big when exposing themselves to the cult of "re-wilding".
Call me a crank if you wish, but chalk streams must be managed if biodiversity is to be maximised.
How do I know this?
because in thirty two years that I have been falling in and out of this river I have been asked to look at several stretches of chalk stream that have not been managed for a number of years. One not far from here was a tree lined tunnel void of all weed with rudimentary aquatic life that was vastly improved after two weeks of going bananas with a chainsaw. It now has weed, an increased number of invertebrates and a population of trout and grayling that each year undertake the rigours of spawning.
Under management of chalk streams can be as detrimental as over management, the right balance must be sought if the habitat is to thrive and biodiversity maximised.
Keepering they used to call it - you've done that one - ed.
The principle source of income to fund this important work is derived from angling. Dressing up as Dickie the Damsel Fly to give guided tours of a broken chalk stream won't provide sufficient funds for the annual habitat management that must be undertaken if these rivers are to thrive.
I've said it on here before, but the work of a river keeper is now about providing safe and productive fishing in a manner that is sympathetic to the chalk stream environment.
Reports suggest that some stretches have become a right old shambles, and on a personal note if we look up rather than down, in five or ten years time there may be much needed work for the likes of myself restoring some order to some stretches that perhaps went in too deep with regard to the cult of re-wilding.
Ladies and Gentleman our house band The Detroit Spinners,
Weren't they great everyone?
Just back from another fun trip to the Carron, where, after three weeks without rain, the heavens opened the river rose eighteen inches overnight and fish ran the river. Unfortunatey the only fish I hooked came off quite quickly and then all too soon it was time to come home.
Oh well, but thanks as ever for the invitation.
I've just been informed (many times) that in the cause of protecting data I am required to offer you the opportunity of looking elsewhere should this guff have been forced upon you. Please be assured that the door is open and anyone can leave at anytime should they so wish.
Back on the Carron, throughout our stay there were men clad in high viz working with no little fever in and around a building by the road bridge on the Amat estate. I made enquiries and it turns out the small cluster of dwellings nine miles up a single track road in one of the more remote corners of these Isles is to receive the gift of super fast full fibre broadband.
Which is great.
So why can't this small cluster of houses less than an hour drive from what some would have as the greatest city on earth have it as well?
We remember fondly the days of our quarter meg dial up connection and my employer who uses the hopeless landline broadband connection, spends most days in a fug of buffering while we are forced to rely on our expensive 3G mobile provider for a speed of not much north of half a megabyte.
Anyway I'll avoid kicking off about Open Reach and BT as it will only make my eyes go all twitchy again.
The mayfly is finally underway and fish are coming out in numbers. Late afternoon through to early evening is currently the best time for peak rise with fish continuing to be a little picky early in the day.
The river is incredibly clear and lush weed growth is causing some bits of bank to become decidedly mushy. We have swifts, swallows and martins and our resident pair of swans have given birth to their perennial sygnet. I have already disturbed several grass snakes and recent intense storms have caused many bankside trees to dip a branch towards the water. It is now all too apparent which ash trees must be attended to next winter and also the following winters. .It seems to take five or six years between this insidious disease progressing from the outer reaches of the crown to the death of the tree.
This one's in the early stages of the disease, the dead shoots in the outermost points of the crown area as brittle as breadsticks
After three years of suffering
Five or six years in
This ash tree shows no sign of the disease.
Nor this pair of trees
because they are oak trees.
Dutch Elm disease gets all the heat when it comes to arboreal genocide but ash die back will push it close.
Oh yes, further bonifides required please Mr Gove. This time on sandwich fillings. Last week, in the resumption of his quest for higher office he implored us all to eat more lamb sandwiches.
I'm not a fan of the lamb sarnie. Chicken, beef and pork, pulled or otherwise are fine as fillings for a sunday evening sandwich in front of Arthur Negus et al but all sensible people (northern folk in particular) agree that the best treatment for leftover lamb is several days of slow cooking in red wine and herbs with some shallots and carrots topped with sliced potatoes and a big dollop of pickled cabbage (or sauerkraut if the EU is upon you) later in the week
The cove Gove seems to have been hewn from the same rock as Mr Mandleson who once famously entered a northern fish and chip shop and requested some of the mashed avocado with his chips
"That'll be mushy peas then" came the reply.
Yes, Bonafides please Mr Gove, Bonafides. Not only with regard to sandwich fillings but also for the post which you currently hold.
While we're on meat. In the name of cutting down on red meat in order to attain a perfect cholesterol level of four point something, we've just devoured a very nice piece of Hampshire Bred top rump. It came to light during this fine repast that with four jars of horseradish and four jars of mustard I had fast become the Imelda Marcos of the condiment world.
It was a shame that the Chairman of the EA's warning last week regarding the need to preserve our water supply in the decades to come was met with such derision in the media. I don't know if Mr Chair visits this house but regular readers/sufferers will know that we have been banging on about this very subject for many years. Editorial comment in several of supposedly more enlightened news papers demonstrated that we have a long way to go in getting the message across that our current method of sourciing water in the South is unsustainable and precious aquatic environments, principally groundwater fed chalk rivers, (85% of planet earth's chalk streams) will be impacted upon.
Later this week I will be charged with spinning the wheel of the justice.
The welcome pack from the Courts of Justice states that I cannot take my clever idiot proof camera into court so with a nod to Tony Hart I've whipped out the pastels and crayons, eschewed the kodachrome.
The next chunk of guff may be a little "Vision On" when it comes to images to serve as a reminder of my time in the wig, tights and cape.
In dog news, Otis has sore feet again.
It happens every year when he is in malt (hair falling out, he's not a whisky drinker) Hair folicles become infected between his toes and he assumes a mincing tread. A course of antibiotics have him podding about again within a week but getting him to swallow the things are a bit of a trial. His Uncle Zebo could famously eat around any peas placed in his dinner and while a knob of cheese with a pill hidden discretely within used to work for Otis, he now rejects any cheap cheese offered, will suffer 36 month old Davidstow, but wolfs down a pill wrapped in half a slice of Prosciutto or Serrano.
He has become quite the gourmand in later life and the cost of the delivery method of each pill may soon exceed the cost of the pill itself!
Names Currently under consideration for impending puppy.
Boots McArther - Came to me in a dream, Pontebodkin - Bridge based which seems apt Karius - Noooooooooooo! Uncle Peter - I may have got stuck on Vic & Bob while undertakimg research for a film earlier in the piece. Lister - Ditto Michael Gove - Hmmmm, bonafides for work as a Labrador required.
With the England team eschewing the chance to herald the disappointment of another early exit from a major international football competition tournament via the medium of song. This house has decided to buck the trend and will herald each chunk of impending disappointment with it's own anthem. Yes that's right, after a three year quest to secure a replacement for the over-rated Nicholas Chiantrelli Trio, our quest is now complete. We have found our new house band.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you
The Detroit Spinners:
Welcome aboard chaps, I look forward to working with you in the coming months.
Through with the theme tune we shall now attend to the meat of the business and an explanation of my movements throughout the preceding week.
Well it's all gone very green. Grass is remarkably lush and trees have assumed a sheen only present at this time of year. Conker trees are candled up and on bank holiday Monday Madam and myself kicked back in the garden with a glass of grown up Rose (for which we give great thanks) and burnt meat, only to be moved on by a swarm of bees passing through in search of a summer billet. The frost that we experienced during the first week of May doesn't seem to have been too catastrophic with the Wisteria now in full bloom,
Here's one of a specimen of twenty years that we must endure when we open the bedroom curtains in the morning. It came from Cornwall and seems to have settled well here.
The fruit trees are beginning the business of sorting the set fruit from the unset and it is becoming clear which ash trees we will have to target next winter in the drawn out battle to conquer ash die back disease. Fishing has been fair, but two weeks into the season most fish have gained a GCSE or two when it comes to differentiating between a natural fly and an artificial.
A fish of six pounds was returned in the opening week. A large hen fish the like of which we have not seen for a few years. She was in pristine condition and had obviously been in the river for some while. Why she decided to up sticks and pitch up here is anyone's guess, but she seems to be fairly settled now. The mayfly are delaying their entry with only a few seen during the day although there are reports that the mayfly have been about for a week or so on the middle main river.
Attending to the tree that fell across the Mill Stream proved eventful with the whole thing shifting position several times during dissection which added a certain frisson to proceedings.
Today ranunculus flowered in this river in May for the first time in four years.
And at this point can we remind ourselves what ranunculus requires to thrive and of its importance to invertebrate life in the chalk stream environment.
Well, it needs fast flowing water and highly oxygenated at that. An absence of algae and plenty of light are also preferable. I won't put up the photo of the field known across the ages as "Spring Bottom", but take it as read that it continues to be "sans spring". We are not experiencing exceptional discharges for this river, just what was to be expected ten years ago. The last three years have been very dry in these parts and aquifers became seriously depleted. It's just a shame that those charged with protecting the environment, or those who rely on it as a natural resource to generate income (yes, those weasels) didn't seem to notice, or at the very least make much mention of the fact during the past three summers. Donning the "buyer beware" crown of office it is during conditions such as these when the guard is down regarding depleted aquifers that we hear the cough and"ahem" from the corner of the aforementioned weasels and worms and the enquiry sotte voce
" now about all this water that seems to be sloshing around, well we'd like a little more please"
Apologies, I'll break off there.
I've just noticed that the "Alt" button is on the left hand side of the keyboard on my computer.
Will I have to move this button to the other side of the keyboard when we break away from Europe?
Oh yes, all this business about the use of the word Gammon as an insult is puzzling.
Harry Flashman and Bertie Wooster had a completely different take on the word that confuses the issue further.
Once again, what times we live in,
I'm with Flashie, Bertie and The Butcher regarding the word. I don't mind a bit of gammon. A Berni Inn special with a ring of pineapple, Serrano Ham, Proscuitto, Speck and heck even the occasional piece of obfuscation and jolly scheming in order to keep social events bouncing along.
Well I think we covered all bases there, so troll away please if you feel so inclined. I'll be over here with a swelling number of people waiting to step forward rubbing hands together to state "If you lot over there have quite finished and you lot over there have quite finished" We'll try and restore some normal service now that the fever has passed. As stated previously, troll away, troll away, troll away.
In other news we have just secured the services of another black labrador. As yet unamed and currently five weeks old he is not from the same line as Otis or Zebo but his parents are of a similar build. Discussions are underway over a name with the following list discounted already
Blondie - after 80's pop group Blondie Hazel - after 80's TV detective Hazel played by Trevor Eve Trevor Eve - Star of 80's detective series the title of which I forget. Howard Moon - The Mighty Boosh Dixon Bainbridge - The Mighty Boosh Stephen Toast - Voiceover work and occasional actor
And finally,
I've been called to the bar. A wig, cape and some of those Persian slippers that curl up at the end have been purchased as the internet reliably informs me that this is what Judges wear although their shoes are rarely seen. A sedan chair (see left) will arrive each morning to carry me to court.
Jury service is imminent. Rachel was called up a few years ago and is the font of all knowledge regarding the market for crack cocaine among local town society.
Kinder Update:
Child A - Maisie, engaged with the forces of DIY while renovating a smashing two up two down terrace in Kingsclere, it even has three yards of chalk stream at the bottom of the garden.
Child B - William, engaged with the forces of a small camper van driving around New Zealand with two mates occasionally bothering trout. With the wind in the right direction we occasionally pick up their scent across the ten thousand mile divide.
G'day everyone, did I mention that we'd been to Australia?
I did?
Ok, well there is still much to discuss on the matter but on this occasion I shall refrain so here's some parish messages.
With a nod to the current cult of Data Protection can all readers confirm that they arrived at this place of their own accord, nothing has been forced upon them or suggestions been made by way of spam email or leaflets through the post and there has been no mention of PPI or an offer made of marriage from the east.
Terms and conditions may/may not apply but things do seem to be getting a tad complicated with regard to chucking up guff.
Sign on the dotted line if you agree with the aforementioned and are happy/ resigned to peruse this nonsense further.
........................
Data protection box ticked we shall now attend to recent events and the state of play for the impending trout fishing season.
With jetlag finally conquered (did I mention that we'd been away?) Exploits in the name of left foot right foot in order to prolong life have resumed. We seem to have developed a worrying propensity to turn a planned five miler into something nearer eight but there are worse places to bumble about blindly than the beeches and bluebells of Micheldever wood.
Four and a bit miles a little closer to home this weekend and at this point I'd ask you all to prepare yourselves for what some corners of the media would call a "reveal" Also known as a "revelation" I can reveal that it hasn't been as wet a winter as many are making out.
Or if it has been an unusually wet winter, the aquifers at the end of last summer were depleted way beyond what some would have us believe.
Yes the Fake News, and phoney figures have been a particular bugbear in this parish with regard to a variety of subjects so at this point we will assess the state of play by examining the actualite.
Here's one of Madam and Otis on the Common on Sunday afternoon. It is a path we have trodden for twenty six years. We find it very soothing as we are confident in the route and rarely get lost. At this point there is a fork in the road. Right leads through some boggy bits where springs should rise at this time of year, the world's worst spaniel got stuck in one once. To the left leads to slightly higher ground that the world's worst spaniel subsequently sought out on later visits no matter the time or year.
Today we swung right and made passage with ease.
Here's one of us cresting the summit of Postman's walk. We've walked this way before on recently cultivated fields and exited several inches taller with half the field stuck to our boots.
Today our cleats remained relatively free of organic matter.
and on the water meadow upstream, lambs gyre and gimble in the wabe with little fear of foot rot.
And then there is this field known across the ages as "Spring bottom" which has featured on here many times of late.
It remains spring free despite the "wet winter" touted in some quarters.
I could go on, and yes the river is in fine condition, but if the winter has been as wet as some are making out, the aquifers must have been depleted beyond what the same bunch had us believe over the past few years.
I'll leave it there, and just be thankful that the river is bank high and pushing through nicely. and well done the what used to be known as a "normal" winter for that.
The bridge is complete and Photoshop has levelled it up nicely. It was a steady job that took just over a week with materials for construction stored on higher ground a bit further away than one would normally have liked. Consequently The to-and-fro was increased by a factor of five and probably added a day or two to the job. Banks are decidedly squidgy and wellingtons are the footwear of first choice for the angler, as it should be at this time of the year. A brace of Great Egret flew by last week. Little Egret are a given in this valley but their blown up cousins are a little more rare. Roughly the size of a Heron they always seem a little short of confidence and are often moved on by a resident Heron or a couple of crows.
I'll just break off there.
Didn't pet shops used to sell Amber Rudd?
Or was it Golden Rudd?
It's one of the two but I remember bagging up on Amber/Golden Rudd in a match on a small estate lake when I was a student living and working on the middle main river.
Anyway,
Trout Fishing has just broken out in these parts with a brace of three pound fish already in the book albeit in chilly conditions. What hawthorn there were went early and the hatch was done and dusted late last week but the fish still know what they are. Olives are about and the vanguard of the Mayfly are on the cusp of entering stage left.
Everything is waking up and and all manner of creatures creep about the place, It's a terrific time of the year to be bumbling about in this special valley.
With another campaign medal earned orange saws briefly basked in two stroke valhalla before a substantial ash tree cashed in its chips and to lie prone across the Mill Stream. It's not causing any obstruction but it will have to be dealt with next week. The logs will be welcome but it always feels a little odd putting on the super warm chainsaw troos to tackle a tree which was on the cusp of bursting into life.
It was reported last week that aquifers in the Vosges in the North East of France were being put under pressure by over abstraction, principally by bottled water business in the town of Vittel.
Bottled water by the way is not bound by the rules that dictate Cornish Pasties and Melton Mowbray pies must come from the actual place they are named after. I once worked at a large trout hatchery with a million gallons a day of spring water bursting out of the ground that was purchased by Perrier because the water roughly matched the analysis of the water at the original Perrier spring.
Vittel are now having to seek another source for some of their water because the town is fast running dry and some of the stunning streams in the Jura are being impacted upon.
We walked their limestone banks a decade or so ago when children were children. The spectacular waterfalls will live long in the memory as will the hatch of olives and the numerous rises on a break abroad sans rods in the boot.
