Derek Guyler, Mark Nicholas's Mane and January done!.

Well that’s January done. 

Now move on February we’ve had enough of Poxy Pando now.

Working alone since lockdown and have long conversations with myself throughout the day. On occasion bitterness has descended and discourse has descended into full blown argument with the occasional blow.

Apologies but this chunk of guff is photo free following a camera fail, so here's a short clip of Derek Guyler that some people may find tremendously soothing in these trying times. 

I’ve been cutting reed and sedge back on the non fishing bank for much of the week, opening up the channel as the river continues to rise. I can’t emphasise enough what great condition the river is in. The rain we have had has been “good rain” not to hard but steady and prolonged allowing the ground to soak up as much of the stuff as possible. There is no doubt that I will be cutting weed in April which is always a good sign and cutting hard again in June once the sun has come out. 

Fishing letters have been dispatched inviting our regulars to return in the middle of April although how we will be returning is difficult to say. Who can predict what the Pando situation will be by then, but the protocols we put in place last season seemed to work and may have to be implemented again at the start of this season. 

We’ve had quite a few enquiries regarding fishing this summer, a few wait in the wings for season rods and many days at the weekend are already filled, it seems people are making plans for the summer and fishing is high on the list of things to do. We have tentatively booked a couple of flights to some sunshine towards the end of the summer holidays. Fingers are very firmly crossed but the flights were booked with a national airline which we hope will provide some security that the company won’t go down the pan, and also they were very cheap, but goodness we’ve missed our trips away. 

Well done the vaccinators by the way. An indie band of 90s vintage and who knew their influence would reach so far, but well done for rolling out such a brilliantly efficient operation. I’m told that receiving the jab is quite an emotional event and well done too to the science for coming up with the jollup so quickly “at cost” in the first place. 

Looking up and not down we find that the excellent “Back” by Simon Blackwell is currently embarking on its second series. Would I lie to You continues to maintain a high bar on a Monday night and the giants of south Australia continue their quest for lobsters. Pooch Perfect is not for me although Madam, Moss and Otis are riveted, but Repair Shop is very soothing and serves well as balm to the current conditions and then there is the cricket. Looking down and not up we find that Talksport 2 will be providing the radio coverage and will be bound by the agreement to proclaim “Live! On Talkpsort 2” at least fifteen times an hour. 

At which point we'll take a break for further washboard

   

 Looking up and not down (I am advised that I may have over done this one) we find that live coverage of a Test series will be returning to free to air TV. Ok it’s Channel 4 and we may have to suffer Mark Nicholas, but the audience will be many times over what Sky’s coverage would draw. 

The last England Test series to be shown “free to air”? 

England v Australia in 2005. 

We were glued to every minute (Child A/Maisie not so), be it on radio or TV.

Child B/William ten years old at the time and just embarking on his cricket odyssey, would watch each over then dash out through the patio doors to his ball on a rope hanging from the limb of the cherry tree in the garden, play a few shots then dash back in for the next over. Many of his mates were equally inspired and cricket achieved an equal status with football for them. My aged aunt and uncle, now sadly departed, were similarly infected by cricket and sucked up “free to air” coverage as did a couple of old boys in the village who I used to touch base with over a pint in the village. They all lamented the loss of “free to air” coverage and saw Sky subscriptions as an unecessary/unreachable extravagance. 

Well done Channel 4 for stumping up and good luck with whoever has to do Mark Nicholas’s hair, as you have it on good authority that he can be quite the diva. It’s on here somewhere, I won’t go on but William and I were asked to fill in as “eye candy” on a bench behind Nicholas and co (they came close to succeeding Pan's People) as they undertook their live pre match preamble at the Lords test in 2004.

Job done, Atherton and Holding (very much the Babs and Brightman of the troupe) pottered over for a natter, 

Nicholas, with no little flounce, strode past muttering about hair spray which induced a knowing smile in Whispering death (Babs) and Athers (Brightman)

And we'll break there for further washboard, this time a tutorial for those who may wish to have a go at home

   

 It was a convincing win for England with hundreds for Strauss, Vaughan and a double for Rob Key, the half hour watching Brian Lara in the nets was mesmerising and somehow Ashley Giles was awarded man of the match for his nine wickets which must have irked Rob Key. 

Tickets were for members friends in the Warner Stand with no allocated seat, so we woke early to catch the train and join the queue outside. Passing through the turnstile and making our way past the Nursery ground, William suddenly said “Dad, Dad, it’s Gilo, it’s Gilo” 

and there he was, Ashley Giles, 

future man of the match, 

in scruffy jeans, T shirt, old trainers with a big rucksack with a bat handle sticking out of the top walking in through the gate by the indoor cricket school. He could quite easily have been dismissed as an unwashed back packer fresh off the plane from bumming about Asia, and he certainly didn’t seem too concerned about trying to bottle up one of the greatest batsmen who has ever taken guard (and I’m not talking about you Shiv “The Crab” Chanderpaul who also managed an ugly hundred”) 

Shortly before the close of play we made our way to the exit, 

Passing the Nursery ground, I said “William, William, that’s Fred Trueman” 

And there was Fred making his way to his taxi, pipe in hand muttering “I’ll see thee” 

Quite the capital D, he didn’t have many overs left in him and William replied 

“Are you sure he was a bowler” 

Love a day at Lords and we’ve been lucky enough to attend Test matches many times over the years, but I won’t go on (apologies, think I promised that earlier) 

Reading this back, I miss watching live sport (Yes, despite the numerous errors I have read this back) it’s nearly a year to the day that Madam and myself pitched up at Twickenham to take in England v Ireland in the Six Nations where Madam managed to clear a significant section of the East stand midway through the second half with her coughing, because yes, the general populace were worrying about this Pando thing even then. 

Captain’s Log: Starship Old Albion 

England v Ireland at Twickenham - 23rd February 

National Lockdown - 23rd March 

That’s all your Honour, Case Closed.

   

 Normal photographic service to be resumed next week.